The Two Halves of my Heart: A Friends-to-Lovers Romance Read online

  Now the summer was here, Oliver and Maddison came over on their bikes, set to go exploring the lanes past the farm near their house. It sounded exciting, and I was desperate to follow them. Mum was wary, especially as I had only ever gone out on my bike a handful of times. But after three days of begging, I’d managed to convince her that, as a birthday treat, I could go for a short bike ride with them before going around to the boys’ for a picnic in the garden.

  “Be careful. Don’t worry about keeping up with the boys. Go at your own pace. And just keep steady if a car comes. They’ll move for you.”

  “Okay, Mum.” I wanted to feel like a big girl, not a baby. Her list of instructions and commands was getting in the way of time I could be exploring.

  Maddison led the way on his bike. He tore off at such a pace, my stomach flipped. I’d never be able to keep up. And I didn’t know the roads well. But then, instead of racing off with his brother, Oliver waited next to me. I looked across at him and smiled, so thankful that he seemed to know I’d struggle and needed his support.

  “Come on,” he encouraged.

  I pushed my feet down and started to pedal, a little wobbly, in pursuit. Before we even reached the boys’ house, Maddison had circled back to join us.

  “I can beat Oliver, Grace. Want to see? We can race.”

  But before I could answer, Oliver had sped up and overtaken his brother, as if to make a point. He looked very pleased with himself until Maddison passed him again. Instead of waiting, Maddison carried on, riding off down the lane. Oliver looked back at me, where I was carrying on along the path at my own pace, and then back to his brother, his feet bouncing on the pedals and his fingers twitching on the brakes. Keeping up with each other and racing looked like their normal game, but Oliver had stopped to check on me. That look gave me the courage to continue, no matter what.

  “When we get around the corner, you’ll be able to see down the track. I won’t lose sight of you.” He nodded at me as if he was convincing himself as well as me, before pedalling away to catch Maddison.

  Sure enough, a few hundred yards on from their house was a long track of gravel and dust. Big trees lined the way, and there were a few pull-in spots. Towards the end, I could make out two boys racing on their bikes amongst a cloud of dust.

  I focused on where I was heading and kept peddling. I couldn’t understand how they could go so fast; their bikes were just like mine. My legs pumped up and down, determined to keep going as a prickle of heat rose up my back.

  Maddison raced back towards me and pulled his front wheel up from the ground, not slowing down. My eyes followed his stunt, and my mouth dropped open. But I’d forgotten that where I looked, the bike would follow, and my balance teetered as my head went one way and the bike the other.

  My breath caught as gravity took over. My bare knee hit the gravel first, and hot spikes of pain shot up my leg, and then I braced with my hands to break my fall. More pain dug into my skin as my pulse started to throb in both my palms.

  “What did you do that for, Maddison? Look what you did.” Oliver arrived back to us and yelled at his brother.

  “It wasn’t me.”

  Both boys abandoned their bikes and ran to me as I stayed crumpled on the ground, trying to force the tears away. I didn’t want to cry in front of either of them.

  “I can go and get Mum,” Maddison offered, he looked worried when he saw the blood start to dribble down my leg.

  “No. Leave your bike by that gate. You can push Grace’s back. I’ll help her.” Oliver took charge.

  “Why can’t I help her?”

  “Just do this for once,” Oliver shouted again, and I waited for Maddison to retaliate. They often got into arguments, always sniping at one another, but keeping it under control when we all were playing.

  “Fine. Are you okay, Grace? I didn’t mean to distract you.” Maddison’s eyes were wide and reminded me of a puppy. His were much darker than Oliver’s. Another difference that made it hard to see their brotherly resemblance.

  “Will your bikes be okay?” I needed to think about something other than my knee stinging or the pull to do nothing other than run home to my mummy.

  Oliver helped me up and put his arm around my waist to steady me with Maddison behind us pushing my bike.

  “This was meant to be a fun day for your birthday,” he sulked a little.

  “You’ll still come for the picnic, though, Grace? Mum’s got loads of treats and wouldn’t let us steal any until you come around.” Maddison’s voice was hopeful.

  I nodded, keeping my head low so they couldn’t see the tears welling in my eyes. I limped back to their house, and Maddison rushed in, shouting out for their mum, Vivien.

  “Calm down. What’s the problem?” She burst out from the kitchen to see me hobbling with Oliver. “Oh, love. Come here. Let’s take a look at you.” Her kind words started my bottom lip wobbling, and a burst of pain from my hands and knees hit me.

  “Boys. Go and fetch your bikes, okay? We can have the picnic when you’re back.”

  They tore off, racing to get back as fast as they could. But it gave me the time I needed to let the tears fall and for Vivien to wrap me in her arms and comfort me just like my own mummy would.

  After I’d calmed down, she fetched a first-aid kit and cleaned up my knee and my hands. We were just getting the plasters out when the boys come crashing back in.

  “Can we have the cake now?” Maddison asked, smiling big and wide at me.

  “I think that’s up to Grace, don’t you?” Vivien looked at me, and I nodded, happy to have the distraction.

  “Can we take a slice for my mum?” I didn’t want her to miss out.

  “Of course, sweetie. Do you want me to invite her over? We have more than enough?”

  “Yes, please.” I knew she’d be upset that I’d got hurt, but I loved playing with the boys. They were my best friends—my only friends, and I didn’t want anything to stop what we had. I knew I’d defend our friendship with everything in me, regardless of how new, or young, we were now. A few scabs wouldn’t stop that.

  The summer holidays stretched forever. We weren’t going anywhere for a proper holiday. Mum had explained that with the house move, we couldn’t afford it this year. I knew she was worried about something else. It lingered over her like a shadow that wouldn’t clear, but she never talked to me about it. And I was too busy having fun and enjoying my life to worry too hard.

  In the middle of the break, the boys and their family went away for a week. I was miserable and glum for the whole time.

  During the few months of the school term, I hadn’t made many other friends in class. Maddison ensured I didn’t need anyone else, and I saw Oliver during our playtime. So when they weren’t about, I realised how lonely it would be without them.

  None of my toys were interesting, and I’d already designed a new dragon to show Oliver on his return. The stories of dragon riders and wizards helped to take my mind off missing them, but it was still hard.

  For that week, I stayed inside and hoped that all the rainy days would come now, so when the boys were back, we could get back to playing and exploring. Mum had started to relax and let me go farther from the house, as long as both the boys were with me.

  Those had been the best days so far. We’d visited the farm next to them and met the horses in the stable. There was an abandoned stable block a little way on from where I’d come off my bike. For the boys, it was their new fort that they had to defend from invaders, but a magic garden surrounded it in my mind. Fairies and butterflies visited and kept me company if I wanted to sit for a moment, or they helped to hide me under grasses so the boys couldn’t find me.

  I missed them terribly.

  Finally, they came home, and to my surprise and delight, Mum let me walk over the green and to their house all on my own. It was only just out of view, really, and I’d done the trip a hundred times. Taking the journey on my own for the very first time gave me an added little thrill. M
y mummy trusted me, and I had to make sure I did it right.

  They were already pulling on their trainers as I ran up the drive to call on them.

  “Grace!” they both cheered at once.

  You could tell they’d been away in the sun. Maddison’s dark-blond hair was now bright and straw-like from the sun, while Oliver’s brown had turned lighter.

  “Let’s go to the fort. We can tell you all about our holiday.”

  “Be back for tea, please. Grace, you’re welcome to stay if you like?”

  “I’ll have to ask my mum.”

  “That’s fine. Shall I see her while you play?” Vivien always made it easy to go and have fun with her sons. I think she liked me distracting them from annoying each other.

  For the rest of the school holiday, we were once again inseparable. Even on the occasional rainy day, we found games to play and activities to explore. Sometimes we just needed to be in each other’s company. It didn’t matter what we were doing, as long as it was together.

  No one ever wants to go back to school, but I dreaded it. September would mean everything changed back to boring days in classrooms.

  But, I couldn’t stop time. The new school term began, but to my delight, nothing changed between the boys and me. We all walked to school together, still escorted by my mum though, and repeated the journey home at the end of the day. Maddison was my shadow in class, and we all played together at break times.

  Maddison had shot up—like a bean, my mum described—over the summer. He was the tallest in the class now, and his friends all crowded around him, wanting to play with him. Sometimes I felt bad, like I was keeping him from his friends, but then he’d give me that big smile he seemed to save for me, and I didn’t feel so guilty any more.

  Oliver, although older, was now smaller than Maddison. He didn’t have as many school friends, and I knew that if I wasn’t desperate to play with him, he might not have that many others to spend his time with. We were alike in a way that Maddison didn’t know or feel. Outsiders, in our own way.

  The first sense of fear hit me when I realised that Oliver would be moving to secondary school next year. He wouldn’t be here with us anymore. He’d be off on his own. I knew that I’d still have Maddison, but only for as long as he wanted to spend his time with me. His popularity always made me nervous, and I secretly hoped that the other kids weren’t more interesting or likeable.

  But that was nearly a whole year away. I wouldn’t worry about that yet.

  As the year progressed, the three of us fell into a comfortable routine. We lived in our own bubble when we were outside of school. We resorted to what we’d always loved to do—run wild and free with our imaginations. Maddison’s self-esteem grew, and he became bolder and braver when we played. He climbed higher than any of us in the trees. He was the first to jump in the stream when the sun shone, and his confidence was infectious.

  Oliver was never as adventurous, but he was watchful. Always sizing up the situation and making sure that whatever we were doing, I was safe. When he was watching me, my body tingled like it knew his eyes were on me.

  Maddison made me brave.

  Oliver kept me safe.

  And being with them made me feel invincible.

  My ninth birthday was approaching, and I had everything I thought I’d ever need. Two best friends who were my whole world, and another summer of undivided time together.

  Most other kids our age would be disappointed about not going away to somewhere hot and sunny. I’d never been abroad before, and plenty of the girls in our class talked about trips away with pools and sand. My mum didn’t need to make an excuse as to why we couldn’t go away this year because I’d never asked or wanted to. A holiday away would mean time apart from the only two people I wanted to spend my time with.

  For my birthday that year, we planned a camping trip. Trip, might have been an exaggeration. Oliver and Maddison’s dad put up a tent in their back garden, and we had a sleepover. Sleeping bags, pillows, even a little campfire where we toasted marshmallows on sticks. They were sticky and gooey and delicious. The sugar stuck to my lips, and as I ate mine, the boys jumped around the fire, wielding their sticks as swords.

  When Vivien came to turn the lights off, I snuggled into my sleeping bag. Oliver on one side of me, Maddison the other.

  “The back door is open, so come right in if you get cold, or you don’t like it, okay?”

  “Grace is fine. She’s got us,” Maddison said as if affronted at the idea that I wouldn’t be okay.

  I giggled and looked at Oliver. He nodded, and we all said good night and zipped up the tent.

  For a moment or two, we were quiet, the air and night settling around us as we grew used to the darkness. There was a small solar light outside the entrance of the tent that gave a low glow, but apart from that, it was dark. My eyes began to adjust, and I could make out the shadows of us in the tent.

  “Is this the first time you’ve slept out?” Oliver asked.

  “Yeah. We don’t have a tent, and we didn’t have anywhere we could do it at the old house.”

  “We’ve been camping with Scouts lots of times. It’s safe, and it won’t get cold. Not with all of us.”

  “It might be the last time you do this with us, Oliver,” Maddison started. “What with secondary school.”

  “That won’t change things,” he protested.

  “Really? You’ll have loads of homework and new friends. So it will just be Grace and me next year.”

  His comment gave us pause for a moment. It was true, that could happen. But my little heart prayed it wouldn’t.

  “No, it won’t. Doesn’t matter if I’m at a different school, we’ll still see each other in the evenings and weekends. We should make a pact—to promise to be best friends, no matter what. Come on.” Oliver sat up and put his arm out for us to make our promise.

  I put my hand on top of his, and Maddison added his to mine. Suddenly this pact was the most important thing in the world, and the air felt heavy in the tent.

  “Promise,” Oliver said sternly.

  “Promise.”

  “Promise.” We both repeated.

  It was done. And somehow, that act reassured something inside of me.

  We all made it through the night, but I couldn’t get the thoughts of new schools from my mind. The weeks were running out, and soon it wouldn’t be the three of us every day. No matter how grateful I was that Maddison was still going to be with me, Oliver wouldn’t be.

  And I couldn’t help the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

  Chapter 3

  Oliver Eleven Years Old

  After Grace’s sleepover, we were all waiting for the summer to end. We didn’t want it to happen. It was like a rain cloud in our blue sky. We all hoped it wouldn’t hit us and ruin our fun, but deep down, we knew we should go inside and wait for it to pass. Despite the promise we’d given each other, we couldn’t ignore the uncertainty that came with the start of a new term. Especially me.

  It was stupid–we’d see each other all the time anyway. Although every time I convinced myself that it would be fine, my stomach rolled as if I’d just taken a ride on the death slide that Maddison shoved me down when we were younger.

  I didn’t want to start a new school. I wanted to stay exactly where I was and be with Grace and Maddison. Mainly Grace. Maddison only wanted to show off to her, although he was always nicer when she was around. He might be my younger brother, but he didn’t act like it. All he’d done was gloat about all the time he’d be spending with her now that I couldn’t.

  Tightness squeezed my chest and made it hard for me to breathe. It always happened when I thought about leaving them. I’d do anything to keep things between us the same, and it was more than just nerves about starting a new school. Grace had fixed the gap between Maddison and me, and I wasn’t ready for another one to form.

  The first day was the hardest. Everything was different, and instead of knowing everyone in the school,
I only knew a handful of people in a sea of other students. Of course, this shouldn’t have been a shock, but for the first time since meeting Grace, I felt lonely again. There were so many new faces, new teachers, new everything. And all I wanted was to be able to find my two best friends and sit with them and swap lunch items. Grace always took my fruit. Her favourite was strawberries, so I asked Mum to buy them for me.

  My school finished later than Maddison and Grace’s, and with the bus ride home, I didn’t see them for the whole day. I couldn’t escape the feeling of missing out, and I hated it.

  “Hey! How was your first day?” Mum greeted as I swung the door open.

  “Fine. Is Maddison home? Is Grace here?”

  “He’s upstairs, and no, Grace isn’t here. You can go over and see her after tea.”

  I didn’t want to wait but knew better than to test Mum, so I thudded up the stairs and into Maddison’s room. “Hey,” I greeted and crashed down on his bed.

  “Hey, yourself,” he grumbled, barely looking up from his computer.

  “How was school?” I asked although I wished it were Maddison asking me. It was me that had started a new school, after all.

  “Fine.”

  “Grace?”

  “What about her?”

  “Did she have a good day? Does she like the new teacher? Who have you got this year again?”

  “Mrs Lindam. And yeah, she’s fine. She’s got me to look out for her.” His sure-of-himself tone annoyed me, and a part of me wished I could be the one to keep looking out for her at school. I’d have to wait another two years until she was at school with me again. And then she’d have Maddison with her as well.

  “I’ll go and see her after tea.”

  “Well, I’ll come with you, too.”

  “No. You’ve seen her all day. I want to tell her about my new teachers.”

  “Still gonna come with you,” he argued, still not looking up from his screen.